6 Life Lessons I Learned on the Dance Floor (And None Were About Dancing)

There’s something oddly profound about dancing with a stranger to a song you’ve never heard before. You’re leading, they’re following, and together you’re trying to make something beautiful… without a script, without a plan, and without any idea what’s coming next.

It’s messy. Sometimes awkward. But it works.

And somewhere in the middle of one of these dances, it hit me: this is life.

Every step on the floor is a mirror for how we show up in the world—how we lead, how we recover, how we connect, and how we keep moving even when we don’t know what’s next.

Here are six lessons social dancing taught me about success, confidence, and how to live a little better—on and off the dance floor.

1. Everyone is making it up as they go.

Social dancing as no choreography. Each dance is unique, being created right there as the melody unfolds. As the leader, it’s your job to decide, in the moment, what to do next.

It’s easy as a beginner to assume the experienced dancers just “know” what to do. Experience gives them an advantage, sure, but in the end they are making it up as they go.

It’s easy to see people in life who are successful and assume they have all the answers. Experience gives them an advantage, but in the end they are making it up like the rest of us.

Don’t think you can’t achieve success just because you don’t have all the answers right now.

2. There are an infinite numbers of ways to get it right.

There is no single way to win at the game of life. We each have to decide what the rules are and what it means to score.

In teaching a combination that required a quick spin, the grip on my shoes prevented me from getting back into position in time before my partner had to move.

But there is no rule that says I couldn’t take extra time to get into the correct position. So I did. It still looked good and onlookers might’ve thought it was on purpose.

Don’t box yourself into narrowly defined parameters arbitrarily.

3. The only way to lose is to stop.

For that same combination above, students in the class struggled too. Many would completely stop moving after their mistake, halting the dance completely.

The only rule in social dancing is, don’t stop. If you get off beat, or mess up a combination, you can always alter your steps and movements to get back to the basics and back on beat.

Often, no one will notice your mistakes when you do this.

But if you stop moving, everyone knows you messed up and the dance can’t continue.

No matter what mistakes you make in life, don’t stop trying. Don’t stop moving.

4. You can’t succeed alone.

Social dancing is about connection to your partner. The best dances are those in which both people are connected, present, and trusting of one another.

You can’t succeed at social dancing alone, just as you can’t succeed in life alone.

It takes a village. A community.

You should be as intent on finding your tribe as you are at chasing your individual goals.

5. You learn best by doing.

I can watch dancing videos on TikTok for hours, but there is no replacement for getting out on the dance floor and doing the dang thing.

Learning new information is important, but don’t fall into the trap of learning-as-procrastination.

The new knowledge is meaningless unless put into practice. Get out there and take action.

Do the thing.

6. Having fun makes the experience better.

The best compliment I can receive is not that I’m a great dancer…

It’s that I’m a fun dancer.

Having fun makes it easier to learn, to explore, to experiment.

When you’re having fun you’re more likely to remember what you learned and to stay consistent in the behaviors that lead to your success.

Find ways to inject more fun into the process.

Take these lessons and realize that no one has it all figured out. Not even the most successful among us.

Embrace this open-ended-ness.

It can either be paralyzing, the weight of your future on your shoulders. Or it can be liberating, releasing the shackles of perfection.

Your choice.